I have decided to just stick with this one I have been married for 22 years. Not an easy choice to make but one night when I drove alone with my car very pissed off I was kind of shown what I am myself. Got into very deep hole for a moment and lost the untruthfull selfimage I had build of myself. That cleared my head a lot, same time gave peace not needing to hold on or convince myself and others of that image and accepted my wifes reaction to many things. And the ones I don't accept I try to learn to solve with N900 and linux. But this is the right solution and choice only to me because what I am.